Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
