i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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