he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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