I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Let's get the cat blown out
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
