So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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