I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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