So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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