if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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