we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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