he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
