help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
