I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
