He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
