IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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