I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
