drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
