So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think I sprained my soul last night
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Holy sore nipples Batman
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
