got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
