I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
