i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
