i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
false alarm, still single
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
