put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
