I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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