Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
