At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
