You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
