He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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