She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
