I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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