nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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