Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
