I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
