just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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