This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize