Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
