Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
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