I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
