ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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