you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
