i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Floor bacon is actually really good
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
