textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
