I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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