What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize