I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
