Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
