Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
