Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
