i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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