Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
