you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
