If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
