He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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