that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
