Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
