At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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