and next time when you feel me up, do it right
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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