All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize