If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
