Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
