i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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