Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
