but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
