Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
