i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
