he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
