I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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