Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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