There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
