Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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