i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
