dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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