shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
