so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
