Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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