Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
