do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
