On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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