..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
