Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
