White coat. Heels.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize