explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
