Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
