In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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