Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Randomize
