what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
