There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
